Living with Ovarian Cancer

OMG, I'm traumatised for the rest of my life!! Harry Potter's just been shot in the trenches! Just finished watching My Boy Jack on ITV1 - a two hour special about Rudyard Kipling pulling strings to get his only son into the Army at the outbreak of World War 1. Bloody brilliant, like, but the only problem is Daniel Radcliffe, who for those who have been living in a cave for the last five years plays Harry Potter in the movies, played Rudyard's son John (Jack) Kipling. Poor Jack was myopic as all hell, like his dad, and it was only through his dad's royal connections that he got into the army in the first place. Then the day after his 18th birthday the poor bugger got sent over the top at Loos with his platoon in the Irish Guards, and after making it almost all the way to a German machine gun nest got shot, lost his specs for 10 minutes which, speaking as a four-eyed git myself, must have been scary as all hell, then got killed.

Talk about trauma - don't think I'll ever get over watching Harry Potter, the saviour of the wizarding world, get shot in the trenches. As bad as when Sirius fell through the veil in the last film - came out with tears on my cheeks.

Makes you think, though, when they were giving out casualty figures in the first day over 1,000 men died, 300-odd officers and over 700 enlisted men. In the FIRST DAY! Talk about cannon fodder....

I'm never going to be able to listen to Kipling's poem My Boy Jack without seeing Harry Potter get shot. I was leaking at the eyes something chronic by the end, although my mum didn't seem that bothered as she was reading the paper. Although she's not quite as into HP as I am - not that I fancy Harry or anything cos I don't he's too young and in Daniel Radcliffe's case as well too damn short. If I want to go out with a short-arse I'll go clubbing - they're always the ones that try it on as they are eye-level with my boobs - that's my theory anyway! Out of HP characters I'd rather have Sirius, or at a pinch Remus. Bit more my age group! And taller. And boy does Gary Oldman look nice with long wavy hair - yumm. Although top of the list has got to be the 10th Doctor, David Tennant. Tall, manic, sexy scottish accent - what more could a girl want?

Anyway, got the trauma off my chest, off to write another 1000 words on Nanowrimo before bed. Doubt I'll be doing any tomorrow what with Chemo dose 3 tomorrow afternoon - bleh.

Bye bye.

Oh whoopee, got my CT scan appointment in today's post. However, miracle of miracles, they HAVEN'T arranged it for the same day as chemotherapy! This has got to be a first - every time I have to have a CT scan mid-chemo it is always arranged for half an hour before chemo is due to start! This one's booked for 11.30 on 26th November, two weeks post chemo which is on our Ali's birthday, the 12th.

Anyway, this is the last post for a couple of days as off to Blackpool tomorrow with our Ali for a girly two nights! Should be a laugh - going to go see the Illuminations (including the Dr Who section), the Dr Who exhibition at the Blackpool Museum and probably (weather permitting) the Pleasure Beach. Dead excited and can't wait. Pathetic, innit, getting so excited over a trip to Blackpool, f'god's sake! It'll probably rain from Sunday afternoon til Tuesday morning, when we're coming home. But I don't care!! Hey, we're from Wales, we can cope with a bit of rain! Not like these poncy Englishmen who act like they're gonna dissolve!

A whole day of David Tennant - or at least half a day altogether. Yum yum! Exhibition looks damn fine, might be almost as good as the LOTR exhibition down in London in 2003 which was fantastic. And a lot nearer to where I live, as well. Should take us a couple of hours to drive to Blackpool - takes a damn sight longer than that to reach London from way ooop north!

Other than that, absolutely nowt has happened today. Weather's manky and miserable, there's nowt on't telly, and I think I'm going back to City of Villains. Mostly packed for tomorrow, just need to sort out what books I want to read over next couple of days. I mean, over 1,100 books and I don't feel like reading any of them. Something not right there - maybe I need to raid a bookshop!! If only I had the dosh

Anyway, see ya blog - off to kill some monsters and visualise my tumours getting blasted into little pieces in the process.

I admit it, I've just been watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. What can I say, I find the program itself terrible mawkish and over-emotional (like most US makeover programmes, to be honest - no offense to any Americans out there!) but I like to see what they do to the houses!

But, this episode, was about the rebuilding of the home of a Breast Cancer Survivor. Now, bearing in mind she's a lovely lady and has luckily for her been cancer free for a whole 12 months, why are they still talking on the program like her immune system is still knackered?!?

I'm sorry, but your immune system is not bollocksed for ever once you have had chemo! After a couple of months off chemo your immune system comes back up - it's not permanent! It really really gets my goat when idiot programs like Extreme Makeover act like once you've had cancer you can't go anywhere or do anything or live anywhere slightly dusty or grubby because you'll catch something awful and it'll kill you cos your immune systems buggered! IT DON'T WORK LIKE THAT!!!!

I mean, for God's sake, look at my Mum's friend John. He had prostate cancer 10 years ago which had spread before they found it, so the aggressive chemo has basically left him unable to live off proper food and he has to have special food packs piped straight into his stomach. If anyone is a candidate for a non-functioning immune system its him. And yet his immune system is perfectly fine. I have maybe 6 months between each chemo (if I'm lucky) and for those six months my immune system works pretty much fine. I'm a magnet for sore throats and colds, but I always have been, and I have yet to have any of them turn into pneumonia!

Why oh why can't these TV programs get their facts right? In the case of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, its probably their way of justifying the renovation, but it just really pisses me off that these programs are going out on national (hell, international with it being a yankee program and all) TV and giving out completely incorrect information. I mean, fair do's to the lass in this episode, Shawna something. She's obviously got genetically linked BC as her mum had it previously and she's beaten the crap out of it at 27 and got the 12 month all clear, but I just WISH these programs'd get their info right. Although I seriously understood when she was trying to describe the effects of chemo, it's one of the best descriptions ever - "the flu x 3,000". Got that right kid!

Anyway, rant over, got it off my chest now so happy again. Off to kick some serious halloween butt on City of Villains - got a lvl 26 character to try and get to lvl 27 before I go to Blackpool on Sunday!

So excited I could crush a grape!

OC stands for Ovarian Cancer (not that awful TV show that pops up on MTV every so often!).
First post in my new online diary. Hell, maybe I'll publish it if I'm still alive at 40!
I'm 35 now and was originally diagnosed with stage 3c Ovarian Cancer in January 2004, when I was 31 coming up on 32.
Had 7 cycles of chemotherapy (carboplatin) and a total radical hysterectomy (and I've got the scar to prove it - I'll post a photo sometime to scare people with!). That got shut of the stuff for 12 months, then it came back so we tried carboplatin combined with Gemcitabine. That didn't last long due to allergic reaction to Carboplatin, so it was onto Caelyx last year. That lasted six months after finishing so we tried cisplatin. Inpatient overnight stays every three weeks - SUCH a fun way to spend summer! And on top of all that, all it did was stop the damned cancer for a mere two months, so as of 17th September this year I am back on the Caelyx again *sigh*.
The hope is that Caelyx will shrink it enough to give Tamoxifen the three months it needs to kick in and stabilise the damned tumours - at the start of chemo this time I have four. Hopefully the smallest has expired (can't feel it anymore up by my spleen so fingers crossed) and the other three are shrivelling up in a hideous and hopefully painful (for the tumour!) manner. As my oncologist said, we aren't curing it now we're controlling it, but frankly that'll do for me - its been 4 years now since the symptoms first showed up and so far so good, its still here but its still limited to my abdominal cavity and hasn't metastatised (probably spelt that wrong) anywhere else which is just as well as otherwise I probably wouldn't have made it to 35!

Just want to write a diary - been meaning to do this since 2004 and I'm more likely to stick to writing it if it's online rather than just buried in the depths of my PC. Hell, still ain't finished my half-completed novel from last years NaNoWriMo and this year's starts in November

So, this might be funny, there will probably be quite a bit of ranting on it depending how many times lately my mother's phoned to make sure I ain't keeled over dead overnight, or I might just end up waffling on about what I'm reading/knitting/crochetting/watched on TV lately or what stupid idiot thing my cats have done lately. Probably mostly the latter - obviously can't have kids (not that I ever wanted them - uck!) as now missing several fairly vital bits so my cats are the nearest I'll ever get to babies!

Unless my sister finally gets round to providing me with nieces/nephews - if she does I'm going to get a half-open zip tattoeed down my scar and pretend to unzip my stomach to scare them! Should be a laugh

What are aunties for but warping the next generation, huh? Apart from feeding the kids full of sugar & E numbers til they are bouncing off the walls, that is. As my brother in law does to his nieces now - look out Dave revenge will come!

Anyway need to keep my typing speed up whilst off on the sick both for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) and for when I get the damn chemo over with and can go back to work next year. Have to live up to my reputation as fastest typist in the West, after all!

Anyroad, reckon that's a long enough first entry complete with adding scary photo to profile - eek, run for the hills! IT'S ALIVE!!

Must try and remember to post every day - set a reminder mebbe, hmmm...