Right, be warned, this is a rant :)

According to my darling mother, it is all my fault I've got Ovarian Cancer, on account of the fact I had a high-fat diet for a few years in my early 20s! Christ, she might as well say it's my fault I've got cancer cos I didn't get pregnant at 16 like half the girls I went to schoo with - that can be a contributing factor as well you know!

I don't know where she gets half this shite from, I really don't. This time it's Jeremy Vine's fault - she was listening to him on the radio yesterday and apparently he was on about the BRACA1 gene which is linked to high rates of ovarian and breast cancer being in the family and saying no one ever checks the father's side of the family, only the mothers. This set MY daft bitch of a mum off worrying that cancer runs in Dad's side cos it's not in hers, but who is the one researching our family tree?!? ME, oddly enough!!! So if there was a history of ovarian and breast cancer in Dad's side, I reckon I'd have found some trace of it by now on account of having got like 5 generations back.

Told her this when she rang me as usual of a night, and then it went onto 'Well you had a high-fat diet with loads of sweets and cakes in it didn't you before you got ill, that's a contributing factor you know'. In that case, my sister should have developed OC about 10 years before me, her diet's well worse than mine when she ain't doing Weightwatchers!!

IT JUST PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH WHEN BLOODY MUM STARTS ACTING LIKE I WANTEDODDING OVARIAN CANCER AND SPEND FOUR YEARS HAVING BLOODY CHEMO!! AAAAAHHHHHHHH.

Seriously, if she starts going on about the same thing tonight she can fuck off if she thinks I'm coming over to Wales for her sodding birthday on Saturday, and I'll bloody tell her so. I refuse to drive 200+ miles just to be told it's basically my own fault I've got Ovarian Cancer, instead of just plain bad bloody luck.

Still, there you go, rant over, out of my system. Parents, huh, who needs 'em!