Living with Ovarian Cancer

Right, be warned, this is a rant

According to my darling mother, it is all my fault I've got Ovarian Cancer, on account of the fact I had a high-fat diet for a few years in my early 20s! Christ, she might as well say it's my fault I've got cancer cos I didn't get pregnant at 16 like half the girls I went to schoo with - that can be a contributing factor as well you know!

I don't know where she gets half this shite from, I really don't. This time it's Jeremy Vine's fault - she was listening to him on the radio yesterday and apparently he was on about the BRACA1 gene which is linked to high rates of ovarian and breast cancer being in the family and saying no one ever checks the father's side of the family, only the mothers. This set MY daft bitch of a mum off worrying that cancer runs in Dad's side cos it's not in hers, but who is the one researching our family tree?!? ME, oddly enough!!! So if there was a history of ovarian and breast cancer in Dad's side, I reckon I'd have found some trace of it by now on account of having got like 5 generations back.

Told her this when she rang me as usual of a night, and then it went onto 'Well you had a high-fat diet with loads of sweets and cakes in it didn't you before you got ill, that's a contributing factor you know'. In that case, my sister should have developed OC about 10 years before me, her diet's well worse than mine when she ain't doing Weightwatchers!!

IT JUST PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH WHEN BLOODY MUM STARTS ACTING LIKE I WANTEDODDING OVARIAN CANCER AND SPEND FOUR YEARS HAVING BLOODY CHEMO!! AAAAAHHHHHHHH.

Seriously, if she starts going on about the same thing tonight she can fuck off if she thinks I'm coming over to Wales for her sodding birthday on Saturday, and I'll bloody tell her so. I refuse to drive 200+ miles just to be told it's basically my own fault I've got Ovarian Cancer, instead of just plain bad bloody luck.

Still, there you go, rant over, out of my system. Parents, huh, who needs 'em!

Another year, another cycle of chemotherapy looms on the horizon!

Starting Topotecan on Monday - took long enough to arrange hospital transport but have finally got it sorted so I can get in to Jimmys for the poison. Our Ali's bringing us home, rather than wait up to 3 hours for hospital transport back out to Pontefract! Not really looking forward to it at all, although I know what to expect as this is now my sixth treatment of chemo since being diagnosed in 2004!

The hair's gonna go with this one as well, apparently, so it'll be bye bye hair and hello German POW look again! Hopefully won't get as skinny as when I last lost my hair due to chemo in 2004 - got down to 10 stone which is WAY too thin for my height (5'9") and build. Even my mum, the queen of 'You have to be a size 12 to be beautiful' admits now that size 12 is actually too thin for me - amazing what cancer'll do to change your relationships

Should get some weight off - it's surprising what not eating'll do for the weight - but hopefully not too much. Another stone/stone and a half'll do fine for me.

Apart from that, had a decent Christmas. Dave's ominous hints that he was 'carving' me a Christmas present turned out to be a collaborative pressie from several relatives of a new PC - built by Dave of course! Pretty good - much faster than old PC and much better graphics card. Loads more detail on City of Villains - never knew the quartermasters/arbiters and fateweavers were all shades of grey and white rather than just white! And the Sims does run quite a bit faster now - so thank you Davey!

Even joined Facebook a couple of weeks ago - quite good with being off on the Sick and sitting at home a lot. Good way of keeping in touch with a lot of my friends that I have worked with previously - most of them seem to be on facebook for some reason! Also a dishy distant cousin who's in the army has a facebook page - bit of a hunk he is! Fed up getting chatted up by infants in cheshire and london though - if I go into a chat room everyone who messages me is either under 20 - WAAAAAY too young - or from Turkey or something! Ack! Need to find an uglier photo, that'll get rid of that i think!