According to the Discovery channel, I just found out tonight, elephants suffer from post traumatic stress disorder. How totally bizarre! Not entirely surprising as I've seen previously that they grieve for family members who've died/been killed and stuff like that, but PTSD?
Not the sort of programme I normally watch, but I was trapped on the settee with an extremely comfortable cat stretched out across my lap so couldn't really go anywhere and there was absolutely NOTHING else on.
You can tell it's getting near Christmas when the TV gets crap of a night!
Just found out today - after two months of waiting, like - that I will be getting Income Support in the absolutely massive amount of £18.53 a week. Wah-hey, lets go out and party - not! So that means in total I will be getting just over £500 a month in benefits, between Disability Living Allowance, Income Support and Incapacity Benefit. Shame my bills are about £700 a month, isn't it?
Got a 'work-related interview' at Pontefract Job Centre tomorrow morning as well. Why the hell I need a 'work-related interview' when I'm claiming Incapacity Benefit due to being unable to work due to chemotherapy and the assorted side effects, I don't quite know, but then I don't know why the benefit system does anything as none of it seems to either work or make sense, so nothing new there! I'm just waiting for the stupid cow I'm due to see to turn around and say "Well you don't LOOK ill, so why can't you go back to work?"
Oooooh, just try it missus and see what reaction you'll get! As if I WANT to be sat around the house all day too skint and feeling (after chemo anyway) too grotty to do anything! I'd MUCH rather be out at work, thanks!
Unfortunately, however, the chemo I've been having - Caelyx - isn't working so we're going to try Topotecan next year - starting early January probably. Topotecan is given once a week for three weeks with a fourth week off, so if I can't work around Caelyx there is no way in hell I am going to be able to work around Topotecan. I've had chemo weekly before in 2005, and it sucked the big one, as Americans say. And Topotecan according to Cancer Research UK's site is even more toxic than Gemcitabine and Carboplatin, so this should be REAL fun. I don't bloody think.
Still, not got much choice, have I? Have the chemo or die, hmm let me think about that for a minute!
Plus there's always the chance, not that Topotecan won't work but that I won't be able to take it. In which case we're back to Cisplatin with a daily tablet of something else I forget the name of, which is even less likely to work than Topotecan as I had Cisplatin earlier this year and it didn't really do a lot. Plus you have to spend a night in hospital every dose, and this possible treatment of Cisplatin is also given on a weekly basis with the fourth week off. So that would be a night in hospital EVERY BLOODY WEEK!! This is why I'm going for the Topotecan! Plus, to be honest, it's a new drug to me, I've not had it before so it should work really good as I'll have no resistance, and if they pump me full of enough steroids and anti-histamines I should be OK for at least most of the treatment. So fingers bloody crossed, huh? Too young to die at only 35..... want to reach at least 40 first please!