Quite frankly, my life sucks the big one.:(

On Friday I went to St James' Hospital in Leeds for my usual pre-chemotherapy check up. My mum came with me as we were due to get the results of the CT scan I had two weeks ago. Surprise surprise, the Chemotherapy (Caelyx) isn't working and we now have to try something else! So basically I've been poisoning myself once a month for the last three months for nothing. So I've got an appointment (or I will have when the hospital sends me the appointment card) on the 28th December to tell Dr Jackson which chemotherapy I want to try next. I'm going to say Topotecan, as although I have to have it once a week same as Cisplatin, Topotecan is given as an outpatient so I can curl up and die at home rather than in a manky uncomfortable hospital bed like I would have to with Cisplatin! But still, it sucks. And there's a good chance with Topotecan my hair will fall out again, like it did with my first ever chemo Taxol. There are advantages to that, admittedly - for instance its the only time in your life you get to moisturise your scalp, not to mention if your head hair goes so does most if not all of your body hair which means you don't have to shave your legs for six months - added bonus! On the other hand if I start Topotecan in January, it'll be damn cold with no hair and I've only just got the chemo curl out of this lot of hair! So it'll grow back curly again - aaaaaahhhhhh!! 8|

And on top of that, I phoned my Sickness Insurance provider on my mortgage yesterday and was told my claim was declined because I knew about the condition when I took the policy out. Despite the arseholes at Northern Rock telling me twice that I would be covered as I've always managed to work around the chemotherapy before now! Sooooooooo annoyed with that! And worried, because now I'm skint and I was really counting on that £450 to help pay the bills!

I tell ya, if I was an illegal immigrant I'd be living in a cushy posh flat with no worries and tons of benefits by now, whereas because I'm a British taxpayer I'm still waiting after TWO MONTHS to hear whether I get income support or not and there's practically nowt else I can claim for!

Still, there you go, rant over. If this offends anyone tough shit - don't like it don't read it. I don't care, this is just to get stuff off my chest and make me feel better!

Gonna go enter some more competitions and put more junk on Ebay in the hope I sell some of it! Could do with winning the Lottery, but that ain't gonna happen, is it?